Oh, Hello again. It’s been way too long, and it’s been a long two fucking years and a lot has happened. So, I have decided to start fresh, maybe 2022 will be better…. Maybe. I’m going to focus on the positive things in my life and make room for receiving and sending more good vibes. Each post going forward will be about an uplifting and /or positive force in my life. I’m not one to write out my feelings; I internalize them, mostly the negative, until I explode – that is certainly not good for me and those around me. I want to be the person that journals and meditates and maybe I’ll get there but right now it’s not and I’m ok with that. I’d like to say I’ll post a weekly blog, but I don’t want to set myself up for failure right off the bat; so, one a month and everything after that is a bonus.
Let’s start with me – I’m coping with depression and have been for years and I take medication to help alleviate some of the symptoms. I don’t like to label myself as depressed because I’m not; it’s something that I have to manage and live with. I have moments of sadness, frustration and agitation and I don’t always know what brings them on. I lost some of my coping outlets due to COVID and I NEED to find them again – and I will. Starting here…
One outlet I lost was the gym – some of that was COVID related and some, if not most, was motivation and lack of will. I want to do things; I really do but the depression grabs a hold and takes my will. I used to think ‘just do it, get out of bed, be productive, be happy’ but with depression it does not work that way. I’ve been feeling very loafy and blah and I need to change that aspect of my life.
Even with COVID I was still managing to be active; we got a spin bike; I went for walks and did the escarpment stairs it was great, and I was feeling strong, physically and mental. Then back in July 2020 on our first date night since March 2020 I fell of my bike and broke my arm. That sucked! And since then, I have had a really hard time getting my mojo back. Maybe 2022 will be my new beginning - I’m definitely not claiming it as my year, but something has to give and here seem like a good place to start.
The past two years has made me realize the importance of a strong support system and caring and loving village, which I have but don’t always utilize as much or as often as I should. That is goal number 1. I have also learned the importance of big girl panties. I’m a lot of bark with little bite, I need more bite. I did manage to put my big girl panties on a few times and when I did it felt great, and I was proud of myself and the rush from it was amazing. I need more of that in my life. That is goal number 2. A lot of crappy stuff has happened to people in my life that I love, and I want to help them and fix it but I can’t because it is not my circus. All I can do is wait for them to want the help and support I have to offer. That is goal 3A. Goal 3B is a tough one – I am a good listener, but I will put in my two cents (often many two cents) but it’s from a place of love and not wanting people I care about to hurt. I want to nurture and protect but alas not everyone is ready and that is for them to decide – there are a lot of moving parts in life, I get that. But I cannot offer more of myself than I have to give. So really, I’m not sure what goal 3B is or how to word it, maybe I’ll revisit that in a later post.
Ok enough of the heavy stuff…
To stay on track with my good vibes motto I am going to share a few things that make me happy and things I turn to when I’m not at my best
• I’ve been married for 14 years
• I am a mom to an amazing, smart, loving, caring, kind and sassy 10 year old girl
• I opened an Etsy Shop in January 2021. I needed something to do to pass the time and give me a creative outlet and survive remote learning (Sew Christie Made It)
• I make some really fun, beautiful and cool custom cakes (Perrella Cakes)
• I’m looking forward to (hopefully) doing the Tough Mudder this year
• I have the BEST Mom Squad
• I love to cook but not baking - I know baking cakes is baking but other baking is hard but when I do it successfully it’s awesome
• We moved to Hamilton in 2017 from Toronto
• I love Wednesday walks
• Holy by the Beibs
• Sarcasm and jokes
• Tacos, not just on Tuesdays
• Tattoos
• Lady Dates
• Cider
• Memes and gifs
I know this wasn’t one of the most uplifting reads, but I had to put it out there and give myself a starting point. I’m notorious for having great ideas with little to no follow through, as evident with my severe lack of writing. It’s not that I didn’t want to write, it just didn’t happen. Zero excuses. I cannot blame my actions or lack thereof on anyone or thing. I take full ownership of my life and actions and I accept the consequences whether they have a negative or positive impact on my life.
Cheers to you and yours.
Wishing you a happy, safe and healthy new year.
2022 may not be the year you want it to be, but I hope it is the year you need it to be.
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