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It's all in your mind


picture provided by Cristina
During the second week of school Hannah had written in her agenda “Ask me what a growth mindset is” so I did but in true Hannah fashion (and I am, sure many other 8 year-olds) her response was “I don’t remember”. The good parent that I am (insert sarcastic tone), I asked her teacher if she wouldn’t mind explaining it again; of course, she forgot again. I haven’t heard of the term before, but it sounded important so I was going to research it so we could talk about it as a family. That weekend I was running the Tough Mudder with  my friend for the third time, so I didn’t get a chance to learn about it – but it was on my agenda for the following week. Saturday morning Chris and I headed to Christie Lake and Eric, Cristina and the girls followed soon after. We were ready, I amped myself up all week – I was NOT going to freak out during the arctic enema – this was going to be my year.  (more on the Tough Mudder in my next post)

Our families caught up with us near the end of the course so they did not get to see all out triumphs but that is okay because one of the most awesome things happened – It clicked! Our girls were watching the Everest obstacle, which is a warp wall / ramp that you have to run up and hopefully make it to the top of the wall and on to the other side. The girls watched people run and not make it on their first attempt, some even did a good belly or face flop, but they tried again and again until they made it – and that was when it clicked. They saw people not give up, they knew they could do it, they just had to try again and maybe again. Sometimes words are just words but when you can see those words put into action it makes a world of difference. Although I wasn’t there when it happened, I was beaming with pride when Cristina told me. (She also explained to me what a growth mindset is) I would like to give a shout out to all the strong woman who did the harder side of the wall (without the ropes) – Kira asked why the girls were not doing that side of the wall and then they saw some women try and try and succeed. To all of you – Thank you!

For those of you that don’t know, “In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Whereas a fixed mindset, people believe their qualities are fixed traits and therefore cannot change. These people document their intelligence and talents rather than working to develop and improve them.(Dweck 2015)


Since learning about a growth mindset, I have noticed more examples of it in my own life. Sometimes I feel I have a fixed mindset and think why? Why am set to believe I can’t? It just seems hard, but I haven’t even tried yet. Now when I try something new or retry something I do not automatically assume I can’t do it. I will try and if I don’t succeed I will take something from the previous attempt and change it. I need to role model for my little, but more often she role models for me.


Hannah is, and always has been, an observer and a cautious kid; for those that don’t know her it may appear that she is afraid, doesn’t want to get dirty or shy (a fixed mindset) but I assure you none of that is true; she has one of the strongest growth mindsets I know. She amazes me every day with her new skills and wanting to learn. Earlier this year we did the 5km Foam Fest and she blew my mind. There were some obstacles she flat out refused to do, others she questioned but because of the line ups she had the opportunity to watch others and see how it was done and decided to give it a try. We waited in line for the cargo net and I asked her a few times, without trying to deter her, if she was ready to climb the big net – her response never wavered; yes. We watched a family climb the net and make it halfway up then they needed to come back down, their little had enough. I was pretty sure we were going to have to do the same thing (fixed mindset). We made it all the way to the top then she decided she couldn’t go over the net, she wanted to go back down. I told her we had to go over, we were at the top. She started to cry. I started to cry. But with my help and the help of so many others she did it, she got over the net and down the other side. She wouldn’t have even tired if she had a fixed mindset. As a parent all we can do is encourage our kids to explore, grow and try but we cannot force them – they need to be ready.

I can only speak for myself, but I find believing I can’t is a heck of a lot easier than believing I can. So, I have made the decision to make a lifestyle change, it isn’t going to happen overnight, it is going to take time and dedication, but I will succeed; I will start small and build. As a recapped my Tough Mudder experience to my family and friends I realized how much I used my growth mindset that day, in the past and everyday since. I am still in awe of this philosophy and I encounter examples of it all the time and I love it.

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